88 days. As of yesterday morning, there were 88 days left in 2019. I have chosen to live intentionally toward the goals, dreams and desires God has placed on my heart for the last 90 days of this year, pressing past fear, excuses and discomfort toward fullness of life. Today’s goal: cultivating community.
There are seasons in life when the phone goes silent, friends disappear, and it feels like we are walking life’s journey alone. An extrovert through and through, these seasons are exceedingly painful for me. When left alone with my thoughts, I drift. I drift toward depression and anxiety, or I cling tightly to staunch individualism, putting on my armor of self-protection and proclaiming, “I can do this alone!”
The truth is sometimes it feels safer to do it alone especially if our path to true friendship has been marred by the jagged cliffs and sudden drops of disloyalty and dishonesty or the bounding boulders of judgement, a lack of reciprocity, or toxic discouragement. It is not only painful to feel unseen or unheard by one we have thought to be a friend, but it is even more painful to learn that the one we trusted and cared for was intentionally discouraging us because he/she struggled to embrace their own gifts and light and could not bear to see us awaken to ours and shine so brightly.
Foundationally, our desire for true friendship is driven by our deep desire for love, belonging and community. We are made in the image of God, who exists as three in one, in perfect community, perfect belonging, perfect relationship. As image bearers, it is in our spiritual DNA to hunger for true friendship and to live in transforming community—community fixed on Christ and open to transformation for the glory of God, the abundance of our own lives, and the sake of others.
However, when we have been hurt, when our self-esteem has taken a hit, when our lives have been marked by betrayal or when our own brokenness tells us its always our fault, true friendship and community can be hard, vulnerability may feel impossible and believing we are valuable, lovable and uniquely gifted may seem beyond our reach. And still, we are invited with all our bumps and bruises to take risks, be vulnerable and share ourselves with others, because we weren’t made to walk through this life alone.
Today, I intentionally spent time with friends. I texted. I encouraged. I spilled my guts. I named by brokenness. I had coffee and laughed. I listened and celebrated. I loved and embraced. Today, I showed up for a few dear friends, and you know what, they showed up for me too, and I opened my soul to receive what they had to give. The drift that can begin, that drift toward depression, anxiety or individualism, well, they reminded me I wasn’t alone. They reminded me God wasn’t done. They reminded me I wasn’t done. They helped me to breathe deeply and refocus once again.
Healthy friendship encourages, builds up, calls out unhealthy mess, works through conflict and is not abusive, toxic, conniving or dismissive. Healthy friendship celebrates, invites us to greater health and greater boldness and pushes us to walk in bold obedience to the God who loves us, created us and has placed God-sized dreams in our heart. Healthy friendship boldly proclaims, “When one of us rises, we all rise!” because one look at this world and it’s clear that it is all hands-on deck when it comes to bringing hope, offering encouragement and reforming unjust systems. Healthy friendship chooses truth over lies, naming for us the lies we are believing, calling us to repentance and inviting us to live in truth. True friendship laughs, loves, listens, celebrates, mourns, confesses, repents, is present and celebrates life with us. True friendship never lets us do it alone. In the pursuit of our dreams, desires and goals, true friendship says, “I got your back. You can do this. This is who you were made to be.”
Action Step: As you pursue your goals for the rest of the year, who are your ride or die, gonna intercede, stand between you and discouragement type folks who will call you into God’s greatness for your life? Jot those names down. Put it on your calendar and spend time investing in your friendships this week. If no friends come to mind, pray that God will help you identify and cultivate friendship. You can’t reach your goals alone, but you were never created to do it alone!!!
#bettertogether #leadership #selfleadership #friendship #vulnerability #90daysunafraid
