Day 86. I have chosen to live intentionally toward the goals, dreams and desires God has placed on my heart for the last 90 days of this year, pressing past fear, excuses and discomfort toward fullness of life as we countdown to 2020. This post reflects on yesterday’s goal. Day 86: Sabbath rest.
I am an enneagram 3. For those of you new to the enneagram discussion, a 3 is an achiever. This means I come to life, thrive and feel most fully myself when I am learning, doing, building, accomplishing, becoming and helping others to do the same. I feel valuable and worthwhile when the work I am doing is valuable, purposeful and peppered with encouragement. Sometimes the encouragement comes in words of affirmation and sometimes the encouragement comes from achieving the goal itself. However it comes, as a 3, encouragement is like gasoline—it keeps me running.
The Enneagram Institute explains the three well, “They (3’s) want success because they are afraid of disappearing into a chasm of emptiness and worthlessness: without the increased attention and feeling of accomplishment which success usually brings, threes fear that they are nobody and have no value.” This rings true for me. If I am finding my value in others, I can get trapped in a cycle of chronic fear of insignificance. As a result, I work harder to do more and be more. Where affirmation is lacking, I will relentlessly press to fulfill to the vision and goals of the organization or the dreams of others often at the expense of my own desires, dreams or needs. This toxic cycle, if not interrupted with rhythms of rest which help me stay rooted in my identity in Christ, will lead to workaholism, detachment from my desires, chronic discouragement and at its worst, physical illness.
The truth about threes is that many of us spent our formative years in environments where love, acceptance and value were connected to performance: If you do well, you might we worthy of love. If you achieve what I think is success, then you might be worthy of acceptance or value. The love we received was often disproportionate to the accolades we acquired; sadly, often the accolades we acquired weren’t enough to garner love.
My three-ness is exactly why sabbath rest is so essential for me and why I resist it so greatly. The Sabbath is a day set aside for rest which finds its origins in the creation story in Genesis where God, having created all things, takes a day to rest. It is a day in which we turn to God, release our doing, our burdens and our desire to prove our value, while trusting God has it under control, and we are found in Christ. It is a day where we lean into the truth, as Ruth Haley Barton says, “The most valuable, productive thing we can do is to be in Christ for the sake of the world.” In its countercultural beauty, the Sabbath teaches us that fruitful work only flows from fruitful rest, and we are loved and held by God before we do a thing. We embrace the Sabbath, knowing the love, strength, power, rootedness and rejuvenation we receive during our time with God is the only way we can do the work of making disciples, loving our neighbor and pursuing justice that Christ has set before us. Further, resting, slowing and finding ourselves in Christ is the only way we can develop the internal fortitude to resist the external challenges to our identity that come with daily life.
Day 86 I sought to embrace Sabbath rest. I wish I could say it was easy, but it rarely is for this 3, as those grooves of doing and performance have been carved into my soul so deeply. But in stillness, rest and silence, with all I had to bring I could hear God say, “I created you to run, but all runners need rest so they may have what they need for each leg of the race.”
ACTION STEPS: Reflect. Is rest hard or easy for you? What barriers exist to you obtaining rest? Jot down two ways you may incorporate rhythms of slowing or rest into your week. Journal about your experience. How might God be inviting you to embrace Sabbath? Embrace rest?
