Day 72. I have chosen to live intentionally toward the goals, dreams and desires God has placed on my heart for the last 90 days of this year, pressing past fear, excuses and discomfort toward fullness of life as we countdown to 2020. Day 72: embracing truth.
Each week, they entered with game time intensity and furrowed brow. They entered with volleyballs in hand, knee pads in tow and eyes locked on the court. Their confidence was palpable. Their dedication, unwavering. Their badassery, unmatched. It was clear they had one thought: Game. Time.
For weeks, I had experienced their grand entrance. I had sat in the lingering presence of their confidence. From down the hall, I could hear the intensity of their play, the grunting, the loud shouting of active teamwork, “Mine! Mine! Mine!,” and the volleyball pounding the floor. It sounded like kill after kill, block after block, ace after ace. I had resolved in my mind, these middle-aged men were volleyball gods who most assuredly had played college ball at least.
Last night, I experienced their game from another seat—one with a clear view of the court. As they entered with all their usual pomp and circumstance, volleyballs in hand, knee pads in tow, eyes locked on the court and presence dripping with confidence, I looked at my daughter and explained, “These guys are the real deal!” Then, it happened….
”Mom, is he wearing his knee pads ON his ELBOWS?”
“Mom, what did he just do to the ball? I have never seen anyone hit like that!”
“Mom, what was that? How did he do that? Is that legal?”
Yes, my friends, these “volleyball gods” were HOR-RI-BLE, but they were sure blissfully confident while playing!
In that moment, I realized I had never actually SEEN them play. I had witnessed their confidence. I had heard their intense play, and my mind had filled in the gaps with greatness! As I sat observing their…participation in an activity that included a volleyball and took place in a gym with a net, I realized I fully believed a story I had crafted myself. I had embraced my false perceptions as reality.
On my journey, I have filled in the gaps many times—I have developed false stories and embraced them as reality. These stories make a lot of noise and they play with intensity. So much so, I can believe I have a clear view of the court, all the players and myself. Sometimes, I can even believe I am actually in the game. But no, these stories keep me out of the game, and the sounds and noises of all those kills and blocks, I always assume are the sounds of my defeat. These stories tell me my dreams are out of reach, beyond me, and I am perpetually ill-equipped. These stories speak of my deficiencies in a way that discounts God’s ability to empower me, equip me, strengthen me and provide for me through community. These false stories, with their relentless intensity, can keep me from fully living into truth of who I am and who God is and walking in obedience.
As I left, I delighted in their fun and chuckled to myself. This reality check came with an invitation to explore: What false stories am I believing about myself right now? Where do believe I am engaged in the game, when in truth I haven’t even seen or stepped on to the court? Where is God inviting me to embrace what is true about me and God and walk in truth boldly?
ACTION STEPS: Reflect, listen and pray. What false stories are you believing about yourself? How have these stories/lies kept you from actually stepping on the court and getting in the game? What is one simple step you can take today to embrace/walk in what God says is true about you?
