End of Day 82 and day 81. I have chosen to live intentionally toward the goals, dreams and desires God has placed on my heart for the last 90 days of 2019, pressing past fear, excuses and discomfort toward fullness of life. Goals: Self-Care & Sabbath.
I crawled into bed, body aching, mind swirling, no words left. Seventy-two hours of advocating for our son, and we developed clear next steps to further address the racism. A call from my daughter’s school led to a trip to urgent care, a diagnosis of a concussion, and we were all home at 9pm. By 10pm, bellies were fed, teeth brushed, and goodnight hugs and kisses were given. It was 11:30pm, and they were asleep. Quiet release.
I laid flat on my back, staring at the ceiling:
Did I eat today? Pause.Ah yes, those fries were really gross.
Did I take care of everything? Body aching. Mind swirling. No words left. I think so.
What do I have to do tomorrow? I jotted down a list of follow up for Friday.
I breathed deeply. No quiet release. There was tension in my shoulders and pain in my chest. There was aching from the battle we’d waged on the frontlines for 72 hours and aching from the past traumas that built our muscle memory. As I thought of what was ahead, body aching, mind swirling, no words left, I knew it was enough for today. It was time to stop, rest and take care of myself…to take care of us. I had nothing left to give, but they were okay…they are okay. They are thriving, but now fast asleep. Quiet release. Tomorrow, tomorrow will be our sabbath, and so it was.
ACTION STEPS: Ruth Haley Barton says, “Our bodies often speak to us what our souls already know, but our minds are rejecting.” Are you listening to your body? When we take care of ourselves it empowers us to pursue the goals before us, and it strengthens us to love well.
What is your body saying to you in this season? Pause. Listen. Write it down. Pray. Strategize. Act.
